I think, therefore I am funny. Or so I would like to think, sometimes. At least I try and that’s good enough for me. So I like to take advantage of our clean green humor and comedy. Here are a few that will help the Thanksgiving dinner settle if you giggle enough. Or it may help you get through the checkout line during your Black Friday, or better yet, online with us with your green gadget shopping. Got any you jokes that you would like to share? Be sure to send them in our comments!

Q: What do ducks like for dinner?

A: Quackers

Q: What did the girl mushroom say about the boy mushroom?

A: He is a real fungi!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Thistle
Thistle who?

Thistle have to hold you until dinner’s ready.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Andy Green.
Andy Green, who?

Andy Green grass grows all around, all around.

Did you hear about the new four food groups?

Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Wine.

Q: Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.

A: Yes sir, they’re not very good swimmers.

Q: What do you do after dinner and games are over and it’s time to go home?

A: Make like a tree and leave!

OK, now we are scratching bottom… Got any of your own you’d like to share below in our comments? Did these jokes tickle your funny bone? Check out our eco humor category.

Who Knew That Green Snacks Create Noise Pollution?

Image: Sunchips.com

Sun Chips, the Frito-Lay processed snacks advertise being healthier for you and healthier for the planet. Healthier than what? Hmmmm, okay they include some whole grain, less fat and salt than other mass-produced processed snacks that contribute to the obesity and diabetes and high cholesterol-high-blood-pressure epidemic. But the viral marketing sensation is not the claim of being healthier. It turns out that the compostable bag makes quite a racket! It is really LOUD! How many decibels? We don’t know for sure. It is so loud, the rumor is that Frito-Lay is taking them off the shelves! HAHA!  I guess it’s not easy being green! If you haven’t opened a bag yourself (with ear plugs) yet, check out the quick video that has over 84,000 hits on youtube!

Video: markmosk, youtube

If you are interested in truly healthier food and snacks, be sure to bookmark us and check out our Foodies category. We know how to make green, healthy food without a lot of noise!

What’s In A Name?

When Apple chose the name for it’s newest product, the iPad, what were they thinking? Did they want endless jokes about every permutation of pad in the world, as good publicity? Maybe so, if this hilarious MadTV video is any indication. More ironic is the fact that this skit was written and performed long before the iPad sprang to life! Go figure- only the marketing folks know for sure! What do you think bout the name? What do you think about this skit?

Video: ElCuCuy23, flickr

Image: gary.calton@btinternet. com, flickr

Recently Grist did a piece on the coming “Climate Panic”. Authors Auden Schendler and Mark Trexler noted that sometimes societies in crises reach a tipping point that leads to outright panic, and our reaction to climate change might eventually follow this same pattern. They predict that when the public finally ‘gets it’ there will be hell to pay with a backlash, not unlike the rise of Hitler, the violence of the French Revolution, or the sudden, peaceful collapse of the Soviet empire.

With the help of our crystal ball LoveEarthAlways offers some predictions of our own:

You will know we have “Climate Panic” when…

10. Skiing on snow is replaced with nano-surfaced skis and boards that work on thawed natural terrain.

9. Composting toilets become commonplace. Public water-flush toilets use credit cards only.

8. Captain Planet overtakes Superman as the world’s greatest superhero.

7. Professional sports leagues and teams curtail their travel and season schedules to control budgets.

6. New agricultural staple foods that will thrive in seawater are engineered and manufactured.

5. Cisterns to collect and store water become widespread and regulated across the U.S.

4. The ‘America The Beautiful’ verse about “amber waves of grain” is changed to “blown sand in the wind”.

3. Home-grown hand-made hemp clothing becomes mainstream in the big retailers.

2. Florida and other low-lying coastal areas are designated historic underwater preserves.

1. Aliens in UFO’s visit Earth and they decide not to settle here after all.

As funny as these sound, epic climate changes are all around us. The time to act is NOW, before we have a worldwide panic.

Image Credit: Starland.com

The classified ad above reminds me of Bill McKibben’s new book named Eaarth. One of his points is that our planet is increasingly different than the one we grew up on. Recently the media reported that a majority of Americans don’t believe climate change is real. Oh my! Sounds like the scientists need to forge some more documents to get more consensus! In the meantime, maybe some light-hearted humor will help soften the polarized distrust we see in our society. You might be crying through your laughter at some of these. Please feel free to share your favorite environmental joke in the comments section.

Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice. –David Letterman

According to a survey in this week’s Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House. –Jay Leno (2006)

How many climate sceptics does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing. –
Robert Butler, environmental blogger
Q

Al Gore announced he is finishing up a new book about global warming and the environment. Yeah, the first chapter talks about how you shouldn’t chop down trees to make a book that no one will read. –Conan O’Brien

Barbra Streisand told Diane Sawyer that we’re in a global warming crisis, and we can expect more and more intense storms, droughts and dust bowls. But before they act, weather experts say they’re still waiting to hear from Celine Dion. –Jay Leno

Governor Schwarzenegger spoke about the dangers of global warming. Schwarzenegger’s exact words were: fire, hot, bad.” –Conan O’Brien

NASA just released their new report on global warming or, as President Bush, calls it — Spring.” –Jay Leno (2006)

They say if the warming trend continues, by 2015 Hillary Clinton might actually thaw out. — Jay Leno

President Bush has a plan [to fight global warming]. We can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius. — Jimmy Kimmel

A parish priest is to offer ‘eco-sinners’ the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first ‘green’ confessional booth. Obviously you can’t confess all your sins in one go but must separate bottle, paper and plastic confessions.
– mygreenweek.com