The economy is bad, let’s face it. Hopefully, no matter how difficult these economic times are, we can find a way to laugh at our own predicament, and there might even be some kernels of truth in some of this environmental humor. How bad is it?

Things are so bad:

Congress had to lay off their illegal alien employees.

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

The PGA Tour is now miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 50 Congressmen.

McDonald’s biggest seller is the veggie burger.

Hundreds of Americans were caught sneaking across the border into Mexico .

A picture is now only worth 100 words.

The New York Stock exchange had to hire unemployed cops to be stock brokers.

Organized crime bosses are driving Priuses.

If you like environmental humor check out our environmental humor eco humor category and our blog and buy our cool products.

As someone who has always dreamed of commuting on a bike, I can honestly say, the following video clip of a 700 foot vertical commute would be a dream. Question is, what would the commute be like in the opposite direction?

pleasant commute from lucy Martin on Vimeo.

pleasant commute from lucy Martin on Vimeo.

Image: BP Tar Ball, NOAA’s National Ocean Service, flickr

Lest we forget, the British Petroleum oil rig Deepwater Horizon exploded in the Gulf of Mexico on April 20th, 2010 and subsequently leaked 4.4 million barrels of crude oil into the ocean. The deep well gushed millions of gallons of oil night and day, into September, and created an eye-popping awareness of our guilty love-affair with crude.

Recently BP has been in the news again, expecting that we have all somehow forgotten the horrific trauma of watching the Gulf become a permanently oil-coated ecosystem. But those of us with brains till remember the 2.5 billion gallons that leaked, the surfectant that broke up the slicks and push the oil out of sight to the bottom, where shellfish feed, the economic devastation of the family businesses and world-class pollution of the entire area for the forseeable future. So instead of trying to gloss it over, so to speak, the slick company that was responsible, British Petroleum (BP) should mop up it’s image and move to renewable energy. Ten plausible, funny, or maybe ironic headlines:

10. “Deepwater Horizon Oil Platform Blows”

No explanation needed.

9. “BP Executive Tony Hayward Wants His LIfe Back”

Hayward was complaining about his busy work schedule during the disaster when thousands of gulf coast residents were inhaling fumes off the ocean, losing their fishing and tourism livelihoods and generally watching the gulf coast economy collapse. He later took time off during the disaster to sail in a yacht race around England’s Isle of Wight.

8. “Fish Business Tanks From Oil Spill”

Not only did the ecosystem get wasted, but thousands of people no longer had jobs and many have still not recovered.

7. “BP Crediblity Oozes To New Low”

BP was found to be fudging the numbers of estimated gallons per day and other bogus and exaggerated information they passed on to the media.

6. “BP Creates ‘Spillionaires’ “

Some fishermen were hired by BP to help perform cleanup work, and reportedly earned hundreds of thousands of dollars for their time pecking away at an epic disaster that needed an epic response.

5.  “Environmentalists Study Gulf, Find Oil Slick”

As the oil catastrophe continued, smart people at universities and the government who study ecosystems figured out that the gulf currents would eventually likely carry the oil down around the Florida keys and up the east coast! While this wasn’t confirmed, the chemical dispersants did a good job of breaking up the tar balls into smaller oil molecules and sinking them into the waters of the gulf, out of the view of humans and cameras, which are of course connected to the rest of the salt water on Earth.

4. “BP Accepts Full Responsibility”

Or, rather SOME responsibility for the disaster, but claims that other companies must bear some of the blame.

3. “Psychics Predict BP Oil Spill Not Over”

Scientists within the US Environmental Protection Agency raised concerns over a chemical dispersant approved for use in the gulf. BP sprayed almost 2 million gallons of Corexit on the slick and at the leak site on the seabed, and now large pools of oil sit on the floor of the gulf, where shellfish and other things live. Furthermore, come to find out, the magic microbes that were supposed to eat the oil, are not doing their jobs, scientists have found. And, there are more than 27,000 abandoned oil wells in the Gulf of Mexico from a host of companies including BP, according to an investigation by the Associated Press, which described the area as ‘an environmental minefield that has been ignored for decades’. Some of the wells date back to the 1940s. State officials estimate that tens of thousands of them are badly sealed.

2. “Extreme Heat In Gulf Blamed On Weather”

Once the disaster became the daily preoccupation of the news media and normal Americans, people began speculating about what would happen to those millions of gallons a day awash in the gulf, if the weather got very hot, as it does in the summer, or if the spill lasted into hurricane season…

1. “BP renamed the company “Beyond Petroleum”

No kidding. Oddly enough, “Beyond Petroleum” was a marketing slogan BP used several years before the spill, when they saw the potential to tilt their sails into a greener wind and solar products. BP reportedly didn’t forsee ambitious enough profits in the green energy venture and later pulled the plug on the slogan.

Recently, TED recorded a talk by Naomi Klein about our addiction to risk and the consequences it is having and will have for the world. This is worth listening to and please let us know what you think.

Naomi Klein: Addicted to Risk

Don’t forget to check out our eco friendly products and remember every dollar you spend here goes to help cold and hungry people.

I think, therefore I am funny. Or so I would like to think, sometimes. At least I try and that’s good enough for me. So I like to take advantage of our clean green humor and comedy. Here are a few that will help the Thanksgiving dinner settle if you giggle enough. Or it may help you get through the checkout line during your Black Friday, or better yet, online with us with your green gadget shopping. Got any you jokes that you would like to share? Be sure to send them in our comments!

Q: What do ducks like for dinner?

A: Quackers

Q: What did the girl mushroom say about the boy mushroom?

A: He is a real fungi!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Thistle
Thistle who?

Thistle have to hold you until dinner’s ready.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Andy Green.
Andy Green, who?

Andy Green grass grows all around, all around.

Did you hear about the new four food groups?

Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Wine.

Q: Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.

A: Yes sir, they’re not very good swimmers.

Q: What do you do after dinner and games are over and it’s time to go home?

A: Make like a tree and leave!

OK, now we are scratching bottom… Got any of your own you’d like to share below in our comments? Did these jokes tickle your funny bone? Check out our eco humor category.

Who Knew That Green Snacks Create Noise Pollution?

Image: Sunchips.com

Sun Chips, the Frito-Lay processed snacks advertise being healthier for you and healthier for the planet. Healthier than what? Hmmmm, okay they include some whole grain, less fat and salt than other mass-produced processed snacks that contribute to the obesity and diabetes and high cholesterol-high-blood-pressure epidemic. But the viral marketing sensation is not the claim of being healthier. It turns out that the compostable bag makes quite a racket! It is really LOUD! How many decibels? We don’t know for sure. It is so loud, the rumor is that Frito-Lay is taking them off the shelves! HAHA!  I guess it’s not easy being green! If you haven’t opened a bag yourself (with ear plugs) yet, check out the quick video that has over 84,000 hits on youtube!

Video: markmosk, youtube

If you are interested in truly healthier food and snacks, be sure to bookmark us and check out our Foodies category. We know how to make green, healthy food without a lot of noise!

Reducing your energy consumption by 10% is easy to achieve. Take a stand, make the pledge. Here are more ways, from London’s 10-10-10 website, to reduce your fossil fuel consumption:

-Increase  insulation and seal doors.
-Buy a wood burning stove.
-Decrease your shower pressure to a slow-flow.
-Buy a new A++ refrigerator if yours is more than 4 yeares old.
-Use a small screen TV.
-Use LED or fluroescent lights.
-Only use your washing machine and dishwasher when full to capacity and at lowest temperature.
-Keep electronic devices one year longer than you would have.
-Switch from a desktop computer to a laptop.
-Go vegan three days a week.
-Never buy processed food or ready meals.
-Grow fruit and vegetables from July-September.

For more information or to read the article in full go here. http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/sep/01/how-to-reduce-emissions-10-10

Tomorrow, please do your part participating in local initiatives found on www.350.org or engage in small measures at home.

Why fight to make the world a better place?

Do you know people who are cynical about climate change and making the worl a better place?

Janet Lynch argues against caring about others and the world in the Members Project video “Don’t Be A Sue“. “To the fruity plain to amber waves of whatever.” In her view, we shouldn’t be funding the arts. “What artists need is soap. All animals do is poop on your lawn and make you feel guilty about eating meat.”

Video: esposimi, youtube

Image: Wikipedia Commons

When Lady Gaga speaks, people listen. What would happen if Lady Gaga, with her enormous street cred, woke up and smelled the green coffee? How would her 7 million fans on facebook react? If you know who Lady Gaga is, then you can skip the next few sentences and go to the good stuff. Gaga, the iconic androgenous American creative genious recording artist was chosen as of one the ’10 Most Fascinating People of 2009′ by Barbara Walters during Walters’ annual ABC News special. During the past couple of years she has sold a lot of music and enjoyed worldwide attention and hero-worship. In May 2010, Time magazine included Gaga in its annual Time 100 list of the most influential people in the world. Last night I was fortunate to see her interviewed on Larry King Live.

Image: mirror.uk.rollingstone

If you read Lady Gaga’s bio, you can’t help but be impressed by her immense creativity and talent. She talks humbly with and gratefully about her love and understanding for her fans. People who are nonconformists and not followers of the mainstream. She is at peace with herself and with her power as an icon. The ‘House of Gaga’ is a full house.

Something tells me this woman is smart enough to know her legacy can offer more than another show biz drug overdose or dysfunctional life, like so many stars who came before her. But it is not just a ‘Love Game’ or ‘Romance’ that makes her different. Gaga is not afraid of hanging it out there. She spoke at the National Equality March in 2009 and took a proclaimed her support for the LGBT movement.

So how could Lady Gaga advance the cause of  cold and hungry people (and her ‘little monsters) and help save the world from humans? The cover of the annual ‘Hot 100′ issue of Rolling Stone in May 2009, featured a semi-nude Gaga wearing only strategically placed plastic bubbles. She has six known tattoos. She could pen a new one, a LoveEathAlways logo on a prominent location to wear her green pride! We would probably approve of that use of our logo.

But she doesn’t just look cool. In lady Gaga’s words: “My goal as an artist is to funnel a pop record to a world in a very interesting way. I almost want to trick people into haning with something that is really cool with a pop song. It’s almost lie the spoonful of sugar and I’m in the medicine.” (LadyGaga.com) We like her subversive spirit!

What would Lady Gaga say about the devastation coming to the gulf? What would she think about billions of people losing water and food in the next ten years due to changes in the climate?  Does she envision her enormous power to make a significant difference in the world? What if her little monsters implored her to love the Earth?

Now here’s your chance to awaken her spirit of love and understanding work to better the world’s environment! Write on Lady Gaga’s Facebook Fan Page and tell her: Lady Gaga Go Green !

Lady Gaga’s official facebook page is here.

The Public Face of Twitter Addiction

The pathology of twaddiction is being documented with twisease twesearch, and is defined by certain behaviors such as twobsession, twompulsion, twipendence, twittiholism, twambling, often with is or her twollowers, excessive over-tweating, twopelessness, and twepression.

Other twanifestations such as twantasy, twetishes, twornography, twanking, and even twibersex are ameliorated by twictims and twollowers learning to “mosey along now.” One of the most pernicious forms of twaddiction is the dreaded Autoreply Solicitation Syndrome known as twitterass.

Eminent tweseacher Dr. Twitt has studied the neurological basis for twaddiction and he found that twictims build up a twolerance two twopiates, a physiologically and psychologically addictive substance produced by twittering. This chemical produces a common twepidemiology among sufferers of the malady, and over twime it can lead to twepilipsy. Twitt’s research also shows Twitter is a gateway to Facebook, Myspace and other outside links and the progression to them is known as ‘twinking’.

Although there is no cure, Dr. Twitt points to several tweatments for twecovery showing promise for the twictims and twamilies of twaddiction. These include tweprivation and twelibacy but even with these tweatments, twictims suffer twitdrawal. Prognosis for twecovery usually improves with twintensive twedication and twerapy.

Do you see a reflection of yourself in these symptoms? Want to get help?  Have ideas on how to break the twitter habit and become more productive? We welcome your comments below or submissions to the blog via email.

–LoveEarthAlways Solargroupies Press

Hovering Kitties!

Who doesn’t love kittens? Well, maybe chipmunks, mice or baby birds or bunnies. But most people can’t resist a kitten. Please take this 5 second quiz. Double-click on the picture below. What is your first impression? Is it cool or creepy? Please leave a comment!